"Aunt Kiki, pull my finger."
Nothing's funnier than a fart joke, and I'm sorry--the hilariousity factor just doubles when you discover your 11 year old nephew has inheritated the family 'pull my finger' gene.
My only nephew, Tyler, is one funny kid. His father is a funny kid. His grandfather, Papa, is, well, a funny kid. His aunt (btw, any of you address me as Aunt Kiki in public and I will fistf*ck, double suicide bukake shriek you into next year) is clearly a goofball. Hell, you read my blog & follow me on FB & the Twit--you know what you're in for. He's a well adjusted, adorable, acute, artistic, athletic wee dude. He plays AMAZING hockey. He's fast as screaming diahrhea on the ice, and his hockey bag kinda smells like it. He ran a Fantasy Football League this year (kicking his Aunt Kiki's arse resoundly), and the bugger even WON $50 in squares at Super Bowl. He loves Stat-O-Matic baseball, football & hockey, fishing,boating and he's a pretty mean baseball player, too. Ty's been rockin' out to Eminem since he knew what music was.
His sixth summer we had a family picnic at the 'rents and he suddenly stopped playing with his legos on the picnic table. He looked up, looked around with an excited look on his face, and said sincerely: "My ice cream senses are tingling." We were like huh? Then we heard the far away tones of 'Pop goes the weasel' and we could do nothing but laugh our collective arses off and pull out coins for a push-up.
He was five and being picked up from school. He was almost to the car when he suddenly stopped. He looked a little distraught and as he sighed deep and shrugged his shoulders simply stated: "Shit. I forgot my colorings." Ya can't discipline him because he used it in proper context, but it sure makes for difficulty trying not to laugh.
He just celebrated his birthday and my gift was a lame $20 bill. I didn't even wrap it. Bad, Aunt Kiki. So this is my nod of my cap to you, my dear nephew. I may not come to all your hockey games, but you mean the world to me, kiddo. You're a spitting image of everything your daddy was your age and it's neat watching you grow up. Now go... I think Papa has a finger that needs pulling.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Big Game, Meet My Big Mouth: Who to Cheer for Today
It's my Christmas, my New Years, my 4th of July all rolled into one holiday: Super Bowl Sunday is HERE!
I'm a big football fan. I love college ball, the NFL, and even Arena Football (after all I was a cheerleader for the Detroit Drive 'back in the day'). College ball is different from the pro leagues. There's the excitement of the marching bands, the cheerleaders, the school spirit, the boosters. On Super Sunday, it seems like the NFL takes on that same atmosphere.
I have been resigned to never seeing my beloved Lions in a Super Bowl, so each year when it comes down to the head to head hero match up for all the marbles, I'm forced into a precarious pick between two teams I'm usually not a fan of. Bring on the Packers vs the Steelers.
Do I cheer for the Lambeau Leap (which I love), the cheese head, Miller beer, and Aaron Rodgers of the Packers? Do I cheer for the Terrible Towel, Heinz ketchup and Clark bars, and the team that brought legends Terry Bradshaw and Jerome Bettis?
Do I cheer for the flowing blonde locks of Clay Matthews or black curls of Troy Polamalu?
I do know what I AM DOING: after years of having to take care of every aspect of hosting a party for a client, I get to be a pure spectator at Your Mother's in Mt Clemens. I am going to watch all the commercials. I am going to stuff my face with pizza and wings (they have the biggest BEST wings evah!), drink copious amounts of beer, and yell my head off for every good play, no matter who made it. I'm a cheerleader at heart and always will be.
But since I DO have to coordinate an outfit, I'm going to go with one of my favorite fun peeps in the world and her family (thank you, Michelle Urben & mom & dad Urben) I am leaning towards the Steelers. Besides, blondes rock the color black.
Either way, drink lots, eat lots, cheer lots, and celebrate the beauty that is professional football. Then go hang around the locker room exits and try to snag you a rich player.
I'm a big football fan. I love college ball, the NFL, and even Arena Football (after all I was a cheerleader for the Detroit Drive 'back in the day'). College ball is different from the pro leagues. There's the excitement of the marching bands, the cheerleaders, the school spirit, the boosters. On Super Sunday, it seems like the NFL takes on that same atmosphere.
I have been resigned to never seeing my beloved Lions in a Super Bowl, so each year when it comes down to the head to head hero match up for all the marbles, I'm forced into a precarious pick between two teams I'm usually not a fan of. Bring on the Packers vs the Steelers.
Do I cheer for the Lambeau Leap (which I love), the cheese head, Miller beer, and Aaron Rodgers of the Packers? Do I cheer for the Terrible Towel, Heinz ketchup and Clark bars, and the team that brought legends Terry Bradshaw and Jerome Bettis?
Do I cheer for the flowing blonde locks of Clay Matthews or black curls of Troy Polamalu?
I do know what I AM DOING: after years of having to take care of every aspect of hosting a party for a client, I get to be a pure spectator at Your Mother's in Mt Clemens. I am going to watch all the commercials. I am going to stuff my face with pizza and wings (they have the biggest BEST wings evah!), drink copious amounts of beer, and yell my head off for every good play, no matter who made it. I'm a cheerleader at heart and always will be.
But since I DO have to coordinate an outfit, I'm going to go with one of my favorite fun peeps in the world and her family (thank you, Michelle Urben & mom & dad Urben) I am leaning towards the Steelers. Besides, blondes rock the color black.
Either way, drink lots, eat lots, cheer lots, and celebrate the beauty that is professional football. Then go hang around the locker room exits and try to snag you a rich player.
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